Making a baby--There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted!!

Chocolate Sculptures

Have u Seen Day and Night at same time

The photograph attached was taken by the crew on board the Columbia
during its last mission, on a cloudless day.
The picture is of Europe and Africa when the sun is setting.
Half of the picture is in night. The bright dots you see are the cities' lights.

The top part of Africa is the Sahara Desert .

Note that the lights are already on in Holland , Paris , and Barcelona ,
and that's it's still daylight in Dublin , London , Lisbon , and Madrid .

The sun is still shining on the Strait of Gibraltar . The Mediterranean Sea is
already in darkness.

In the middle of the Atlantic Ocean you can see the Azores Islands;
below them to the right are the Madeira Islands ; a bit below are the
Canary Islands; and further South, close to the farthest western point
of Africa , are the Cape Verde Islands.

Note that the Sahara is huge and can be seen clearly both during
day time and night time.

To the left, on top, is Greenland , totally frozen.

Girls: This is for U

Ever Been in This Situation Before?

How to ask for a salary increment

There comes a point in your career when you realise you deserve a raise. However, asking for one is often uncomfortable and intimidating. Usually, you get a raise of no more than five per cent when you stay at the same company. Most people fall in the bracket of two to three per cent but, with some smart planning, you really can get what you deserve.

Schedule an appointment
Don't storm into the boss' room with an ad-hoc request for a raise. Plan an appointment and have a strategy. Speak to trusted colleagues, friends and people from the industry and get some information on what a normal raise is for someone with your profile and experience. Also take your boss's mood into account.

Write a note to your boss without stating the precise reason for the meeting. Say it is to discuss a personal matter, to discuss your development or present an idea. If you say you want to ask for an increment, your boss is likely to say 'No' on the spot. Here is a sample note you could send to fix an appointment:

Dear Sir,

Could we meet for 30 minutes anytime this week to discuss my role and development? I would appreciate your advice. Please give me a time and date that suits you.

Sincerely,
Nikhil

Make a list of accomplishments
Create a list of accomplishments that are quantifiable and specific. For instance: 'Achieved 110 per cent of the sales target, managed the largest customer base of 130 high net worth customers in the sales region, supervised a team of 15 with a retention rate of 100 per cent.' Use words such as 'first', 'best in class', 'highest' and 'excellent'. Bring some supporting documents to the meeting, like an excel sheet that highlights your key accomplishments. Bosses like results, so be specific and detailed.

Forward-looking approach
No boss will entertain a request of paying you more for doing the same job. A smart way is to ask for increased responsibilities and tasks and link this to a salary raise either right away or in the long term. You can also create a 'pay for performance' system with your boss, where you get rewarded for the extra value you bring to the company over and above your main responsibilities.

Don't walk out with an empty plate
Give your boss/management a choice. The choice has to be between something and something else, not between something and nothing. If the company is in cost-cutting mode, consider other perks that you may be able to negotiate for in the short-term to compensate for the lack of money.

Read: There's more to a job offer than money
Send a follow-up note
After the meeting, send a note thanking your boss for his or her time and reinforcing the value you bring to the organisation. Also use this note to summarise the meeting, so your boss has some valid documentation. Here's a sample note:

Dear Sir,

Thank you for reviewing my responsibilities, role and salary at our meeting today. I believe I should receive a raise based on the following reasons: (List the reasons, presented as three to four bullet points)

I would be happy to provide details on any of the above accomplishments. I am very positive about my job and the future of the organisation and am willing to take on increased responsibilities. I am committed to contributing to the company's success in the future.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Nikhil

Remember, as long as you provide value to your organisation and they are doing fairly well financially, you have every reason to ask for a raise.

-- The writer is a corporate training consultant based in New Delhi

Bheema's son Gadotkach-like skeleton found

Save Trees. They Will Save You